All posts tagged: choices

Turning 30: I’m still lost but at least in the right direction

Exactly one month ago I turned 30. Quietly, without a big party, without friends and family, just by myself so that nobody would notice how old I am getting. I took my birth date off my Facebook profile, I didn’t tell anybody in New Zealand, I did it so well that even I almost believed I am not turning 30. Only almost though. Thanks to the lovely people calling from all over the world reminding me. Of course I had planned it completely different: Whenever I thought about turning 30 I imagined myself amidst a huge party, with all my friends. When the magical day got closer I looked up where I would be and oh – how lucky I felt when I figured out my birthday would fall on the same day as Cardrona’s end of season party. I could already see myself celebrating with all the ski instructor mates – partying the night away, feeling like a dancing queen and celebrating life – just like we used to do during the season. When I …

Choice.

That title alone – in combination with my ever undecided personality – is a paradox itself. Those who know me well probably remember how bad I am at making decisions, how long it takes me and even long after I’ve made a decision I still ask myself “What if the other option would have been the better choice?”. Clever as life is it keeps confronting us with our weaknesses – in my case making choices and so I had to deal with some choices lately. When I was diagnosed with glandular fever some weeks ago the doctor made it very clear that it would affect my energy levels quite badly and that I shouldn’t do any sports for the next weeks, let alone ski instructing. With four weeks of the NZ winter season left I found it very hard to accept that my season would end earlier, that I wouldn’t be able to go up the mountain any more and hang out with my ski instructor friends. With a stubborn mind I thought I could …